Dull Dull Fridays

I was very very sad today.. maybe cuz i didn't expect my upcoming BIG 3-0 is going to a dull one... every year without fail its surely a nice dinner with Fai.. this year was in Jakarta in a nice Morrocan restaurant at Le Meridien.. next year... most likely tucked in bed sobbing and crying my eyes out... reason why i can foresee doing that?? Cuz i texted mama.

Me : For my birthday can i go up to jkt since Fai cant fly down? If I dun book now then I am scared ticket price will go up again?

Mama : Are you going book tickets for the kids ? (huh!! could i even be asking her if i am!!)

Me : Its ok then if you can't take care of the kids maybe i dun go then

Mama : Its not about CANNOT TAKE CARE, you want to go every month also i don't care

Me : Its ok la mama, thanks anyway but i dun think i am going. Even if i do, i i have to see if i can handle Faiz

Mama : Then you bring Faris since you can't handle both

The exchange went on and on and on that i had to hide in my pantry to keep from my mascara from smudging.. I mean when was the last time I got away on my own?? Not a week ago, not even month ago.. That was August! Come January it'll be more than 6 months since i did it.. i didnt realize it was gonna be so hard when Fai went away... I have to sacrifice even my bloody birthday!

Anyway, came home, decided to cycle with the boys for 30 mins and then the comfort eating kicked in... I made Parsnip chips for Faris..sliced, baked with olive oil & salt... for me.. caramelized pan fried banana with cream and maple syrup... for Faiz... a slice of blackforest cake..

The ecstacy of the cruncy caramelized sugar with the soft banana actually relieved me from some of my sadness.. maybe thats why people get fat when they are depressed!!