Nonsensical Rantings

I have been looking forward to today since the last 2 weeks and yet I am dreading it.... looking forward not because of Valentine's as we have never never celebrated it... it just coincidentally falls on a saturday in between... but yet the feeling of dread is undeniable... because i know in less than 48 hours, I'll back here doing the same thing I am doing now....

My sense of dread is also bringing him down thinking I am less excited at seeing him... why can't I take each day as it comes? Look forward to today and dread when I should TOMORROW!

There are more important thing to be done than lament over trivial things like this.... when will feelings or thoughts like this end I wonder..? I used to wonder the same thing when I was in my teens... how would I feel when I am 30... 30 came and went and yet I still feel the same thing.. and now I wonder .. will i feel different when I am 45 and menopausal??  Will I feel the same feelings I felt at 17 and 30? oh well... I guess only time will tell and I'll know then answer then.....